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If you are reading this then my guess is that you are interested in slow living or simplifying your life to some degree. This is wonderful because slowing down can be life-changing. But what really want you to know is that you can’t always live slow. At least not in the way the media has portrayed it.

I run a blog and sell products designed to help people who want to ditch the ‘crazy-busy’ life and go slower. So obviously I am not about to tell you that you shouldn’t try slow living and or minimalism. I still wholeheartedly believe that these things are worthy of doing. But what I want you to do is find the right pace for you.

Because I know that in some circumstances, and in some seasons, life is just busy. There’s really no getting away from it. And I feel like telling a mom with several kids and paid work to take up slow living is just adding insult to injury. 

So if you are feeling burnt out, over-worked, and sick of being so busy, here’s the approach I think you should try instead.

Right-paced living

Let me explain the term using one of my favourite children’s stories.  In the tale of Goldilocks and the three bears, when Goldilocks enters the bear’s home she tries papa bear’s bowl of porridge, and it’s too hot. Mama bears porridge is too cold. Finally, the third bowl of porridge – baby bear’s – is just right. 

Goldilocks then goes on to try each of the bear’s chairs, mama and papa’s were too big, but baby bear’s was just right. After breaking baby bear’s chair she moved onto the beds, finding papa bear’s was too hard, mama bear’s was too soft, and finally settling for baby bear’s bed, which was just right. 

Goldilocks searched for the things that were just right.

Be like Goldilocks.  

Try different things out, and choose what’s just right for you.

No version of slow living, minimalism or anything else will work if it’s not tailored to fit you and your needs.

Here are 3 things to keep in mind when looking at slowing down.

1. Does your season of life make the kind of slow you want unattainable?

If you are in a harder or busier season then the kind of #slowlife that you see on Instagram is probably not attainable (but also, life is never what is portrayed on those little squares). 

Although my clarion call to slow living came as I was entering a busy season (pregnant with my second child), I knew from the outset that my immediate future wouldn’t involve leisurely tending to my garden and cats.

But I could manage small changes. Like saying no a lot more, letting go of things that didn’t matter (messy house, perfect meals), and drastically paring back my to-do lists.

In fact, many of the things I consider essential to a slower lifestyle are possible in any season. Even in busy seasons, we can choose to let go of other people’s expectations of us. We can make quality sleep a priority – even if it has to be shorter than we’d prefer. And we can chip away at the emotional roots that have perhaps led us into such overwhelm. 

2. Do your current responsibilities enable you to live slow?

What are the things that you are committed to that are keeping you busy? I don’t mean family or even your job, but rather the extras that you’ve said yes to. Maybe you volunteer for something regularly, or you’ve committed to extra study or a project. It’s these optional extras that often tip us into overwhelm. 

What are the things you’ll need to shift, reschedule or opt-out of in order to live slow? 

3. Does your personality suit slow?

I think every personality benefits from slowing down. But some personalities need this slower pace more than others. I am introverted and highly sensitive and this means I don’t cope with a hectic pace for long.

If you are introverted and introspective you likely prefer the slower pace to recharge and reflect. 

As I said earlier, I’m still advocating for a slower pace and simplifying things – in any season. But you do need to think about what the right pace is for you and your family. Don’t set yourself up for some sort of perceived failure or compare yourself with others in different situations.

How to find the right pace for you

1. Respect the season you are in and shift your definition of slow

Ask yourself what sort of season of life you are in? This means both practically, and emotionally. This won’t always (but often does) align with the seasons of nature. 

For example, I’m currently feeling in a winter season but have been for almost 4-5 months. I’ve not been under pressure with work so have been able to be more introspective and follow curiosities.  I’ve also intuitively felt a need for more paring back and pruning in certain areas.

Our family is fairly settled or balanced right now, with one new teenager and a middle schooler. It feels easier or perhaps just less frantic than when they were younger, but perhaps the lull before the storm of having two teenagers in the house!

I know that this winter season won’t last though, I have different projects and opportunities coming up, and another potential house move, so a spring or summer season will come before year-end. 

Please note: I have learned a lot about seasonal living from a friend and fellow writer, Krista O’Reilly-Davi-Digui, who runs the business A Life In Progress. If you aren’t familiar with her work these resources on seasonal living would be a wonderful place to start. 

2. Track your moods, productivity, and stress levels

The right pace of life for you right now needs to take into account many different things. Perhaps it’s the researcher/scientist in me but I love to track things and look for patterns.

I began tracking physical and emotional symptoms last year when I was experiencing some troubling autoimmune symptoms. I’ve also just started tracking my periods closer.

We might need to adjust our pace according to things like sleep patterns, moods, and how stressed we are. But we won’t know until we identify patterns.

3. Listen to (and trust) your intuition

Your gut instincts will tell you (if you listen) what the right pace for you is. If you thrive on being on the go all the time then you’ll know that. You’ll know that this type of pace doesn’t drain you and you’ll still be able to get adequate sleep and do other things to care for yourself.

But if you are constantly feeling drained, physically and emotionally, then you are likely living beyond your capacity. 

When we consistently ignore what our intuition is trying to tell us we wind up sick or in burnout. Get quiet and listen in to yourself. You know what’s best for you. Trust yourself. When I made the very big decision 5 years ago to quit my dream job it took a lot of courage and trust in myself. But I knew in my gut that was the right thing to do. My gut and heart knew I needed to live slow.

Take some time today to ask yourself what season of life, both practically and emotionally you are in. What pace of life feels the best for you? And then do what you can to adjust, let go, and recalibrate to align yourself with the right pace.

We can’t always live slow, but we can always listen to ourselves, and do what’s right for us.