Sharing is caring!

I’ve always been a bit of a rebel. I think it’s partly due to my unicorn (enneagram 4) personality. I’d prefer not to fit in. Especially if being asked to fit in with values and ethics that I disagree with. And the older I get the more I am comfortable being a rebel. But not the rebel depicted by James Dean in the 1950s. I’m not a rebel without a cause. And to that end, I’ve created a rebel’s manifesto. It actually feels a bit like a war cry.

Note: This is not a how-to post. It’s more of a summation of the state of things in my world. And it’s an invitation for you to make your own rebel’s manifesto. I think it’s a good idea. What are the things you don’t have to do? Where are you drawing your line in the sand? What are you saying ‘hell no’ to?

Inside: A few sweary words, just as you would expect from a rebel’s manifesto. Don’t complain, you had your warning.

In no particular order, here’s my list of things I don’t have to do. My rebel’s manifesto.

Keep up with the Joneses on social media

Everyones lives look so much better in snapshots. Including mine. But when you go beyond the status updates and have an actual conversation with someone, you find that everyone is going through the same old sh*t. We are all tired, weary of the global pandemic, struggling to make ends meet, dealing with tired and anxious kids, and the list goes on. Life has resembled a dumpster fire for the majority of us in one way or another over the last few years. It’s high time we all just owned up to it and then comforted each other instead of competing with each other. I don’t have to keep up with the Joneses, and I don’t have to pretend I have my sh*t together.

Eat a plant-based diet, forgo carbs, intermittent fast or follow the newest food fad

I’m done. I’m 43 and well into perimenopause. I don’t love the extra 5 kilograms I’ve gained over the last two years but I’m also absolutely sick of not loving myself. Do you know what I do love though? Bread and butter (actually it’s the butter I love). Vegetables. A good bit of steak. And cheesecake. I don’t have to do any more stupid fad diets (I wish I’d never done any in the first place). I just want to eat reasonably good food 80% of the time. And I certainly don’t have to eat bloody kale.

Feel bad that I’m not the best parent to my kids

Here’s the thing. I have no clue how to parent. I have even less of a clue about how to parent my teenager. Sh*t’s gonna get real for the next 5 years in our house and I refuse to feel bad about not knowing what to do. I’ll try my hardest and I love them to bits. Anything else is out of my control and I need to let it go. I don’t have to feel bad about not knowing how to parent (no one else does).

Write a book

God, I want to write a book. I’ve wanted to for a looooong time now. I even went as far as penning a pretty extensive proposal and getting rejected several times a few years ago. It’s not that I’ve given up. I still feel deep in my bones that there are several books in me (I have a feeling one will be an investigative cold case type, so nothing to do with simple and slow living lol). But I just need to let go of the need to do it. I don’t have to write a book. If it happens it will be wonderful. But in the meantime, for the love of my mental health, I need to let it go. I don’t have to write a friggen book.

Be everyone’s friend

This might come across as mean or callous but it needs to be said because I know I’m not alone with this one. My time is limited. I don’t have time for multiple catch-ups over coffee every week. I cannot be best friends with everyone. What’s more, I can’t hear everyone else’s trauma. My highly sensitive soul just can’t handle it. Here’s what I can do. I can be a connector. I can connect friends with other friends and help them find their person. I can’t be everyone’s friend.

Keep up to date with the news

The news cycle is 24/7. It never stops. We can find out what’s going on in any part of the world at any time of the day. I learnt a great tip from a comedian, Tg Nagaro, on the weekend (on this episode). If you can’t do anything about it (ie. the latest mass murder in the states), or if it’s scandalous in any way (ie. the Depp Vs. Heard trial), then it’s not worth reading about. End of. 

Stay quiet when I see injustice

I recently shared something on my personal FB feed about uncovering abuse within one of NZ’s megachurches. Someone immediately tried to shut the conversation down. In order to save the ‘Christian image’ I suspect. Which only makes me want to shout it louder. I am particularly driven to expose any abuse of people who have been ‘othered’. I will not stay quiet. And if you try and get me too I’ll look for a megaphone. In the words of Abby Wambach – flip the Godamn tables.

Try and keep up with algorithms to run a successful online business

Ugh. Snore. Been there, done that, it doesn’t work. I don’t care what the next trending thing to do on IG is. I’ve made a few reels and the truth is it sucks the ever-loving life right out of me. No thanks. I’ll just sit here and do what I enjoy and try and build a business around that.

Do anything I did for exercise in my twenties

When I was 28ish I ran my first ultra-marathon. It was one of the best experiences of my life and I’d love to do more. But my body is saying no. My mid-forties body is telling me to be kinder to myself. I don’t like it but I’m learning to listen. I don’t have to run miles every week. I’m swapping out running for walking more these days and trying hard to be okay with it. I don’t have to run ultramarathons!

Be acceptable to anyone

I’m not acceptable to many people. And that’s okay. They are not my people. I embrace swearing to get me through long days. I have tattoos, and I’m into stuffing dead things. I like God but she happens to not look anything like the God that the men wrote about in the bible. It turns out that’s completely unacceptable to many people. Oh well.

That’s it. That’s my list. For now. It will evolve over time.

My rebel’s manifesto is my own. Yours will look different. But I encourage you to write one. It’s a freeing thing to no longer pretend or to put up with bullsh*t I don’t agree with. And it feels good to have it on paper.