It’s true. A quieter, calmer Christmas is the only thing on my wish list these days. Partly because it’s the end of the year and I’m tired. But also, because Christmas time seems to be an ‘extroverted’ time of the year, and quite frankly, that’s a struggle for this fiercely independent introvert.
Even if you aren’t overly introverted, you probably agree that this time of the year can feel more hectic, and more chaotic than the rest of the year. Parties, end-of-year gatherings, work do’s, and before we know it our calendar’s are full.
Add some anxiety and perfectionism into the mix and it’s the perfect recipe for a stressed out, worn out, joyless season.
Trust me, I’ve been there.
Christmases of the past
Previous Christmases I’ve rolled up my sleeves and committed to doing #allthethings to ensure a perfect Christmas was ‘on-tap’ for everyone.
Perfect decor inspired by Pinterest, a delectable menu of complicated dishes only I could make and just the right presents for everyone (with a few extras, just in case).
Sure these have all been lovely Christmases and I got no complaints…
But I’ve also got no real memories. Because I wasn’t really present for these Christmases. I was far too busy organizing the next part of the day/vacation, cooking something elaborate or cleaning up so the house would look like the one in the magazine.
And then, as my kids got a little older I began to realize that what I really wanted was to stop. To unbusy myself so I could create memories with them.
My (introverted) ideal Christmas
I want a Christmas day focussed on presence instead of presents.
One where I could wake to coffee and a run instead of mammoth kitchen prep for lunch. An afternoon nap instead of a ‘quick’ vacuum and mop before the next meal. A swim with the kids and then leftovers for dinner.
Slowly I have opted out of the Christmas-crazy. Instead, I’ve sought a Christmas time of presence and simplicity.
How YOU can opt-out of the Christmas Crazy
1. Seek simplicity
Start by opting into the simple things this Christmas. Choose well-practiced dishes you know will work and be eaten. Put up less decor than you did last year, and notice how it feels. Choose simpler presents that are focussed on creating an experience, rather than ones with a future at the landfill.
A focus on simplicity with ‘things’ (gifts, food, decor) will mean you can focus on enjoying family time.
READ: Simple gift-giving: 8 ideas to reduce your Christmas Stress
2. Honor yourself
If you are introverted like me, make a plan for how you can honor this and look after yourself before all the extroverted activities overwhelm you. Maybe you schedule time away by yourself ahead of time. Perhaps you need to be vulnerable and tell loved ones you need to escape with a book for an hour or two.
Don’t be so caught up in meeting everyone else’s needs that you forget your own.
Read: The Holidays Are Absolutely Exhausting for Introverts. Here’s How to Change That
3. Be present
I’ve spent many Christmases rushing from one thing to the next, then collapsing at the end of the day, exhausted, and hazy about the details of this supposedly ‘important’ day.
No more. I choose to be present for as much of the day as possible. A mind, body and spirit presence.
Enjoying long exhales, smelling the Christmas lilies, and watching my kids as they play with their cousins.
Of course there will be food preparation and clean up, but I choose to be present for that too. Enjoying the time spent in the kitchen with my Aunty and sisters. This will also include choosing to be present in moments of sadness when we remember their mum. (This will be our third Christmas).
Read: 5 Holiday Mantra’s to Help Simplify the Season
4. Choose a gift for yourself
Maybe like me, you want a Christmas filled with peace and quiet. One of the ways I’m ensuring I get that this year, despite the fact I’ll be spending Christmas day with 30 family members (including 10 children), is to give myself a gift.
The gift is a simple anchor point that I can bring myself back to at various points during the day. A simple mindfulness exercise that incorporates deep breathing and letting go of tension in my face and shoulders.
This exercise is featured in my FREE 5-day pre-Christmas email series “Calm the Christmas-Crazy’.
5. Take part in the ‘Calm the Christmas-Crazy‘ email series
I designed a set of five exercises for myself, as a way to give myself some loving-kindness, and an extra boost to get through the season. And I thought I’d share it with you all too.
You can sign up to receive this series <5 emails, 5 days, 5 minutes a day> any time.
Well, thinking about gifts for a very dear fried who says she doesn’t want stuff. Any stuff. She lives on her now deceased parents farm and is working on going through their stuff and her family’s stuff to create a home for them here. The gift I chose to get for her is a box of masks to wear when working through the dust attic and a couple days off at work to go and spend time with her helping move and sort things. Did it once and had a lovely day. Seemed to be a gift to myself also! She is a gift herself, fairly introverted as well.
Paula that is a lovely and thoughtful gift for your friend. How nice that she didn’t have to do that alone 🙂