New Year - Real You: Living Authentically

~~New year… new you?~~ Nope. I’m sick of reinventing myself every year. Sick of fluffy New Year’s resolutions and goals that only last till March.

This year I’m just going to focus on being me. The old me. The real me. The one that’s always been there.

She’s getting a tad worn and rough around the edges but there’s still plenty of shiny spots to work on. And in 2021 I’ll support her to shine as brightly as she can muster.

And I want to support you too.

I hope that this is the year that you dig deep, unearth the real you, and then start living it and giving zero f**ks.

I write a lot about authenticity. It’s one of my core values. You can read more about why I think it’s important HERE.

Your highest calling

I believe that living your most authentic self is inextricably linked to your highest ‘calling’ in life.

You might think your highest calling is raising your kids, or climbing the corporate ladder, or volunteering for a non-profit in Africa. But if you do these things trying to be someone you aren’t, happiness and contentment will be shallow and fleeting.

Here are some words I associate the notion of ‘calling’ with;

curiosity,
magnetic,
consuming,
passion,
inescapable.

(And by way of clarification I don’t believe that your ‘highest calling’ has to be what makes you an income or something that you do across your lifetime.)

Your calling and your authentic/real self are inextricably linked, but not the same.

Your calling is action-orientated. More about what you do with your life. It ebbs and flows with the seasons of life you are in.

Your realness is about who you are at your core, the immovable bits of you that remain, even in the midst of storms.

The more in touch you are with your authentic self, the more likely you will be doing things that contribute to your calling or your purpose in life.

3 ways to unearth the real you

1. Build yourself a profile

In a previous life I used to build offender profiles. Not just a physical description but also things that help build a picture of the likelihood of future offending. Things like their history, their links to other offenders, and mental health or personality issues that would be pertinent.

Grab a blank page and write yourself a profile. Who are you? What kind of history do you have and how does that affect who you are today? What are your most important relationships? Are you an introvert or extrovert? Do you know your Enneagram number? What are your values?

2. Pay attention

Pay close attention to what feels good and right to you. This might sound a bit woo-woo but trust me on this. My good friend ‘science’, has actually found intuition to be a measurable phenomena. Intuition has also been referred to as ‘the intelligence of the unconscious’.

Authenticity and intuition are closely linked. You are more likely to be in tune with your intuition if you are being honest with yourself and vice versa.

3. Phone a friend

Have you ever had a friend say something like, “that just doesn’t seem like you”?, or “you haven’t been yourself lately”. If it’s a friend you trust, take heed of the flag they are waving in front of you!

Ask a few of your closest friends (those you trust to tell the truth in kind ways) what they think is true of you. Or what they believe you are alive to do.

Another great way to test this is to pay attention to the friendships we feel most comfortable in. I have a few friends that I feel completely able to be the real me with.

This year I’m embracing the real me.

She’s introverted, sensitive, sometimes foul-mouthed, well-intentioned but often led astray. She wishes to write the days away instead of doing the fourth load of washing. She’s not afraid of saying no to others but still struggles saying no to herself. And she’s a nature lover and future crazy cat lady.

I love her.

And I’m excited for you to uncover the real you and love them too.

Emma xo