Sharing is caring!

I want to tell you a story about a man named Ian. And the time I finally noticed him.

Ian is in his late 60’s and is a member of our church. He lives just around the corner from church in a home with other intellectually disabled folk. Ian has the mental age somewhere between a toddler, or perhaps a 6 or 7 year old.

He is a somewhat iconic member of our little church, often yelling out ‘I will” at any request from the pulpit. His outbursts are lovingly tolerated – even welcomed, most of the time. 

But I have to admit, some of the time I don’t tolerate him, and most of the time, I don’t even notice him. 

I am embarrassed to admit this, and I could now pick apart the ways in which Ian, and other people like him are overlooked, marginalized and ignored in society. Perhaps another day.

Today, the story is about noticing. 

It was an average sunday morning and my girls and I were sitting behind Ian (who always sits in the front row) and his caregiver. 

During the second or third song I happened to really look at Ian and the women caregiver who were standing up singing. Halfway through the chorus she turned to him, and looked at him so lovingly that I immediately felt as though I had a front row seat in heaven. The look lasted about 10 seconds at most, but has left an indelible imprint on me. For two reasons.

The first, the obvious, was the incredible unconditional love that I was lucky enough to bear witness too. I can honestly tell you I’ve never seen love look that way before.

And the second? The power of noticing. Any other average Sunday and I would have looked straight through this exchange. Completely oblivious to the beauty in front of me.

The things I couldn’t see before

I’m so glad that the beautiful exchange between Ian and his caregiver happened when it did. After I’d slowly begun to embrace a more mindful life. A life more interested in noticing the world around me.

Prior to this journey I was oblivious. Oblivious and living on autopilot. And when you live like this you miss the beauty of ordinary days. 

Before my journey to slow I missed the way the garden changed each season. I missed the subtle expressions from my children that told me how they were really feeling. I missed the fact that running my dog, was becoming a profound spiritual experience for me. 

Before my journey to slow down I never noticed trees. Now I have some trees that I call friends and like to visit. Their presence has become like an anchor for my soul.

I was too busy

I didn’t see the beauty of my ordinary life because I was too busy. Too busy caught up in living a life that was disappearing before my eyes. I didn’t have time to notice how the daffodils were blooming earlier than usual, let alone a spare moment to take a deep breath and rest.

And of course, part of me was purposefully busy. Because resting, stopping and being still might mean I would notice other things. 

Like a friendship that needed attention. Or an apology I needed to make. And the time with my children while they were little and needed so much of me.

Becoming more mindful and slowing my pace meant fronting up to these things and more. I had to front up to bad habits, to unnecessary clutter in my home, and pain in my heart.

But I’m so glad I did. Because if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have seen that beautiful exchange that day. I wouldn’t have had a front row seat in heaven for 10 seconds.

How you can begin to notice more beauty in your everyday, ordinary life

We live in a vast world full of beautiful things, if only we would only look up and notice. And this noticing, it takes a little practice, so don’t be hard on yourself if it doesn’t come easily.

I feel as though I’ve only just begun this act of noticing.

Make space for it

I’m talking about white space. Time where you have nothing planned. Nothing pressing to do. This weekend we only had a couple of things planned and I was able to notice how tired I felt. Two daytime naps later and I’m very thankful for noticing what my body needed to tell me. 

Sure there were things I could have been doing. I’ve also recently noticed how our home is beginning to resemble The Adam’s Family mansion because I don’t know the last time I dealt with cobwebs 😁

Invite curiosity

As adults, laden with responsibility and other boring adult duties we forget the magic of a curious mind. 

When I was little, my curious mind had me experimenting with potions to ward off ghosts. Or creating a tiny army of robot friends from lego. 

But as an adult, when I get a whiff of curiosity I often ward it off with some kind of ‘busy work’. What happens when we embrace curiosity? We become attuned to the beauty in our ordinary lives. Curiosity is a tool, as Elizabeth Gilbert said, for the scavenger hunt of our life.

Unschedule (a little)

I’m a planner, a scheduler, someone who always calls first and expects you to too 😜  But I’ve realized that allowing a little more spontaneity into my life means I get to notice things I wouldn’t have. 

A spontaneous coffee date with my 10 year old allowed me to notice how her personality was developing, and the ways in which she was similar to me.

What I gained when I started to notice more

When I made way for more noticing, I gained more joy, and more delight. I felt gratitude more.

You can’t help but be thankful when you are noticing the beautiful in the ordinary. In fact, I feel more grateful for the ordinary beautiful than the extraordinary beautiful. As if it’s earned it’s place by just simply being. 

And I gained an audience, a front row seat in heaven, witnessed a beautiful, ordinary love that wasn’t meant for me but has forever changed me.

Image by Annie Spratt  via Unsplash

---

I’m so glad to have you here, in my little corner of the big world wide web. Thank you for taking the time to read my work. I appreciate you!