Sometimes the task of feeding my family, let alone myself, feels too hard. Sitting down to meal plan often feels like a complex task involving meticulous analysis of what’s in season; what the kids will eat; what we ate last week; and what’s in the freezer and pantry. By the time I’ve finished the meal plan for the week, I’m feeling overwhelmed, disillusioned, and ready to order pizza.
If that rings any bells, you’re not alone. A survey in 2019 found that cooking and food shopping were in the top five most hated household chores.
Figuring out what to feed a family can be time-consuming and guilt-inducing. For years I put myself on a Martha Stewart-like treadmill. Plan the perfect meals, make sure everyone likes everything, and be sure to serve not only delicious but nutritious food.
How completely unattainable.
Thankfully, I ditched that treadmill and opted for a simpler way to meal plan and feed our often busy family.
If you want to get off that treadmill too, you might want to make a few mindset shifts around food.
Ditch kitchen perfection
Numero uno mindset shift is to ditch perfection. Even a sous chef with vast knowledge about preparing and cooking tasty food would struggle if they had to plan around children’s ever-changing palates.
That elusive combination of a well-balanced meal that every member of the family adores and devours might only happen once a week. So perhaps it’s best to not even aim that high?
Lower your standards in the kitchen, pick your battles and celebrate the wins.
And above all, remember that no child has suffered long-term health problems from refusing broccoli for a year straight. (I’ve refused green peans for approximately 35 years and I’m a-okay!)
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Everyone contributes
If the task of feeding everyone usually falls on your shoulders, outsource and regularly ask for family members’ contributions.
Repeat after me – “I do not have to do everything”.
Get your kids involved in coming up with meal ideas and writing out the meal plan. When they are old enough, get them to make one meal a week, or contribute to baking.
Once a week, at the dinner table, bring a pen and paper and get everyone to vote for meals and snacks they would like. Obviously, not everyone will get what they want but it will make a nice change from doing the task alone.
I am not going to wade into the weighty topic of sexism when it comes to food chores here. What I will say is that I want to raise our two girls to be able to cook and mow the lawns and change a tyre. If I was raising boys it would be the same.
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Focus on bodily autonomy
This is an important one for me, and something I don’t always get right. I want my kids to learn to notice feelings of fullness and hunger and act appropriately. This simplifies meal times because there is no fighting for them to finish their plates. They get to decide when they are done.
Additionally, I want to respect different palates. I don’t like peas. Actually, I hate them, and if someone put them in front of me I would politely decline. I would like to offer the same opportunity to my kids.
It doesn’t mean that I plan our meals solely based on their palates. Instead, I focus on giving them opportunities to try new things occasionally and for the rest of the time, I stick to their favourites for the sake of simplicity and ensuring they eat relatively healthy.
I’ve saved my best practical tip for last. This is what has made the biggest difference in reducing meal plan stress in my home.
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Meal rotation
We have a list of about 12-14 meals that we decided on together, that are rotated frequently. It’s the only way I can stay sane in the kitchen in this season of life.
I no longer hold to lofty ideas of sifting through cookbooks and Pinterest in search of the newest, shiniest recipe to wow my offspring with.
Nuh-uh. Do they like spag bol? They shall get spag bol once a fortnight! We eat soft shell flour tortilla’s once a week and I make extra tortillas to use for lunches. We love butter chicken so that’s on the rotation too.
Here is our current rotation;
- Roast meat, chicken, pork or lamb and roasted veggies
- Butter chicken and rice
- Tortillas (usually filled with chilli mince and salad) using this softshell tortilla recipe
- Beef or chicken burgers
- Chicken and rice casserole (family recipe)
- Chicken and kumara pie (a Bargain Box recipe everyone loved)
- BBQ’d meat, corn and salad
- Breakfast for dinner (pancakes, crepes or waffles)
- Spaghetti bolognese
- Lasagne
- Fend for yourself (usually toasted sandwiches)
- Leftovers
- Quesadillas or enchiladas
- Steak or fresh fish & veges
Things are swapped out seasonally, in summer we cook more barbeques and fewer roasts. We eat a ton of broccoli and often some ice cream after dinner. I’ll try a new recipe once a month or whenever inspiration strikes. It’s always exciting if it’s a winner and can be added to the rotation!
Our diet is far from perfect and we often eat too much sugar and not enough vegetables. But overall we eat well and there’s less tension and anxiety around food prep and eating.
Hopefully, this might inspire you to let go a little bit in the food department. Let go of perfection, and embrace a simpler way of feeding your tribe.
I’m always on the lookout for more ways to simplify food so please comment below if you have any gems to share with us!
P.S. I asked the followers of the FB Simple Slow Lovely community how they simplify food in their house – see the answers HERE.
I grew up in a family of three kids and I was the only picky eater in the family. My mother had neither the time nor patience to cater to one person. Her solution?…I could either eat what was being served or I could make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich instead. It was good plan as she didn’t have to do the extra work of making a separate meal for me and I had the option not to eat what I didn’t want to without it becoming a battle of wills. I ate a LOT of peanut butter growing up, and I eventually became a more adventurous eater, just at my own pace.
I love that. We have a similar thing in our house. I ask my kids to taste everything, but I want to respect if they don’t like it. When they don’t like it, they are allowed breakfast food to fill their tummy before bed. But no sweet treats like cookies etc. Some people wouldn’t approve and deny their kids any food if they don’t eat what’s put in front of them but that’s just not for me!