Three common roadblocks to simplicity (and how to get through them)

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Being ‘unbusy’ is possibly my biggest goal in this season of life. Family life is full the more I can simplify the easier life feels. But as hard as I try to pare-back and slow down, there are three roadblocks to simplicity that I always bump up against.

While I’ve made huge strides towards a slower pace of life over the last few years, to be honest with you – it’s not enough. My soul craves quiet. Simplicity. Slow days in the garden, punctuated by lemonade on the deck.

I’ve been pondering why ‘slow’ still feels so unachievable still, despite my best efforts. I wondered if my mom, and her mom, and her mom’s mom felt the same hustle and stress that I do.

But I’m not going to start that debate. There are some things that are much better in the 21st century (like more gender and ethnic equality), and there are some things that are worse (the state of the environment).

I do however believe there are some things about modern life that keep us chained to busy.

The logistics of family life

I just realized my daughter’s sheets haven’t been changed in a long time. Like probably over a month (let’s be honest – 2 months). While I’m certainly not like my mom, changing every bed every week, I still like to get fresh sheets on the beds about once a fortnight.

Okay, I’ll fess up some more. I couldn’t tell you the last time our showers were cleaned.

What I’m getting at is that keeping a clean and tidy home, feeding the people (and animals) that live in it, and kissing their boo boo’s can keep us really busy. And it’s different to when most of our grandparents were young. We are often working outside of the home in addition to the full-time homework. There’s something about this modern era we are in that seems to demand more than we sometimes have to give.

Let’s change it.

My answer to this, the never-ending list of chores that come with having a family is simple.

Let go. Let go of the vacuum cleaner. Put down the dish brush. Leave the clothes on the line overnight.

I am the only one to blame for the pressure to keep the house running like a well-oiled, perfectly maintained machine.

If I want a slower pace I have to let myself off the hook more. It’s up to me to put down the mop, let my kids wear the same clothes 3 days in a row, and get help when I need it. 

What can you let go of today? Maybe like me, you need to care less about the dog hair on the floor. Or maybe your thing is spotless windows. Whatever your thing is, let it go. Even if it’s just for a day.

Fill out this super awesome worksheet to make your decision concrete – Just let it go

Electronics and social media

The iPad, television, and Xbox keep my kids busy. My phone and laptop keep me busy. And most days, all I want to do is kill the internet connection and send everyone outdoors. But mostly I don’t. Emails need replying too. Words need to get out of my head and onto the screen. And in my house, kids need some chill-out time.

Smartphones, laptops, Ipads, and x-boxes. These are things that didn’t vie for our parent’s and grandparents’ attention. The internet age is providing us with incredibly powerful opportunities, but I don’t think we’ve quite got the dose right. And of course, while social media is something that will never be legally regulated like drugs, I can’t help wondering what it will take to come to a global awakening and consensus regarding sensible use.

Let’s change it.

At the beginning of this year, our family went on a device diet. We had no devices of any sort between 6ish and 8ish at night. It was pretty wonderful for the most part. For several reasons, the devices crept back in. This week I’m aiming to get back to that.

I am also experimenting with a 9pm-9am social media ban. It helps me sleep better to be off social media an hour before bedtime, and it starts my day off on the right foot to read or write instead of mindlessly scrolling.

Is there something you can do to reduce your and your family’s use of electronics? Experiment with it and see if you can find a slower pace without these things.

Read – 5 Ways to Start a Technology Diet

Expectations (to be everywhere and do everything)

Life gets extremely busy if we constantly try to live up to external expectations of ourselves. The pressure to keep up, to be everywhere and do everything is pretty constant. And in our modern world, these expectations are so readily accessible.

Whether they are real or perceived, expectations can take over our lives if we let them. We enrol our children in extracurricular activities because we feel it’s what should be done. We buy the things that help us keep up with the Joneses, and then take extra shifts to pay for those expectations.

It’s time to cut loose and be ourselves I reckon. Cut your ties to expectation. Free yourself from comparison. It’s only without these that we can begin to unravel our original selves. We don’t even know who we are without these things.

Let’s change it.

Take some time to consider what your family values spending time and money on and decide not to be swayed by the outside world. If you’d rather stay home than make an appearance at a school fair – do it! If you prefer your tatty old bedspread to the new on-trend velvet one – keep it! And whatever you do, don’t buy coconut yoghurt and bunches of kale just because everyone else is, they’ll only end up growing mould in the back of your fridge.

(Tip: If you have school aged children these conversations will be a bit easier if you aren’t allowing too much advertising into your home.)

Read – 7 Expectations to let go of right now

The path to slow is windy and long. And full of stretches of busy. But I’m going to do my best to implement some of these changes and stay on course. I’ll be on the lookout for roadblocks to simplicity, and I’ll keep using these tools to push through.

I hope you are with me for the journey.

Emma xo

P.S. If you want to keep in touch (and see a smidge of how I try to do slow in our family), head over to Instagram and follow me.

7 Comments

  1. Amy | More Time Than Money October 23, 2018 at 8:22 am

    Yes to this! Plus, points 1 and 2 feed off each other. It is so very easy for social media to just pile on more expectations – everyone else is doing x, y and z so I MUST too.

    1. emmy.l.scheib@gmail.com October 23, 2018 at 9:19 pm

      Thanks Amy. Yes I agree with them feeding off each other. I wanted to talk about delegating (or not) too in the first point, and how when we don’t this can also lead to us being busier than we need to be… but it was too big! Perhaps a blog post on its own :p

  2. Susan October 25, 2018 at 3:18 am

    I love your message and the way your write. Thanks for giving us all permission to just let some of it go!!!

    1. emmy.l.scheib@gmail.com October 25, 2018 at 3:42 am

      Thanks for your kind words Susan :p P.s. I just found you on insta via Melissa Griffin 🙂

  3. Sandra October 29, 2018 at 4:23 am

    Thanks for sharing this article. I really like your approach. I agree that sometimes we should let ourselves off the hook more.

    1. emmy.l.scheib@gmail.com October 29, 2018 at 8:06 am

      Thanks Sandra! And thank you so much for featuring me on your website!

  4. Pingback: Three ways modern life is keeping you busy – Simplicity Voices