Opt-out of the summer hustle: an introverted moms guide

My dear fellow introverted mom (or dad).

I get it. It’s tough out there. Long, hot, hour after hour with your children. And other people’s children. And other… people. Ugh. It’s enough to make even the ambiverts squirm uncomfortably.

As an introverted mom, I struggle a lot. I never seem to get enough quiet alone time and always wind up feeling guilty when I do get it.

And no one seems to ‘get’ me. “Come out of the bedroom, watch the movie with us”, they call. “Uh huh, in a minute” I call out, wondering if I could pull the same trick I used to when I was 16, climb out the window and run off into the night.

And summer always seems like a harder season for us introverts. The days are longer, meaning there’s more time to socialise. The beach or pools are packed, meaning there’s no easy escape from people. School is out, meaning we have our mini-me’s around us 24/7. And there always seems to be a backyard bbq or party invite on the fridge.

A deserted island sounds pretty good right about now, right?

I love the long daylight hours and the warm weather, but the constant pressure during summer is simply exhausting. I find that I really have to dig deep into my introverts toolbox during summer if I don’t want to wind up feeling resentful and angry all the time!

If you are struggling this summer and feeling as though you might not make it, I want to offer some encouragement and a light at the end of the tunnel.

Tips for surviving the hustle of summer as an introverted mom.

Opt-out of the summer hustle

Sometimes in summer, we feel the need to make the most of it. The extra sunlight, the hot weather, and the visiting friends and family. But I’m here to say, you don’t. You can opt-out of the endless summer hustle and choose some quiet days to intersperse in between the activity.

Enforce some ‘home day’s on your whole family where you can just unwind and recharge for the next beach day. And most importantly, try and take some extra opt-out days for yourself. Summer will come around again in about 9-12 months so relax and cut yourself some slack.

Go prepared

Got a big beach day planned? Dreading it, but no way out? Prepare an introvert kit to help you survive. Pack earplugs, AND noise-canceling headphones. You can listen to music or podcasts through the headphones and still take your turn watching the kids. Bonus tip, leave the regular earplugs for sleeping in all day. If you are highly sensitive like me, just dulling the noise can make a huge difference to my nervous system.

Of course, take a book (or five) too for when you don’t have to be watching the water. If you are lucky enough to have another adult with you, then make them aware of your need for some real alone time during the day. Take off for 45-60 minutes to another end of the beach and swim or sunbathe by yourself.

Sidenote: solo trips to the beach with the kids are ill-advised for the highly sensitive, introverted mom – albeit sometimes necessary. Plan extra recharge time for before and after these trips!

Own your introverted nature

While everyone else is relishing the social opportunities and doing all the things, you might wind up feeling a little aloof. I used to feel like this a lot at family get together’s with my husbands family. I felt kind of left out, watching them interact for hours on end.

And then instead of going and spending time alone and enjoying it, I’d wind up feeling ostracised and out of place.

Nowadays I’m much more comfortable in my introverted skin. I know exactly what it is that is making me feel aloof. It’s just my own personal introverted alert system, letting me know it’s time to recharge.

Ditch the guilt

It’s very easy to feel guilty for taking the alone time. Especially if you live with extroverts. They will have a hard time understanding your need for so much space. But all you can do is explain and then give yourself a break. Not just the break of time away but a break from the guilt.

You need this time to function well as a mom. An introverted mom without adequate space to herself ain’t gonna be making no one poolside pina colada’s.

And lastly, remember friends,

Winter is coming…