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If your life is hectic, busy, and overflowing, then the idea of slowing down and simplifying probably sounds blissful. But it may also sound unattainable. And it might remain that way unless you become the curator of your life.

Most people who want to make this change to slow down don’t know where to start. So they don’t. They get stuck, wishing and hoping things will change, but unable to move.

I lived in this place for a while too. Before I realized that this blissful state (living slower and simpler) would remain unattainable unless I made purposeful, committed steps towards it. My life wasn’t going to slow down overnight. I had to gradually pull back and put the brakes on softly.

Over the past few years, I’ve come to think of simplifying my life as a curative process. Much like the curator of a museum, I’ve become the curator of my life. If I want to live a certain way, to achieve a certain state of being, I have to intentionally curate parts of my life to get there.

Curating

You might not be familiar with the term ‘curate’ or ‘curating’. Or you might think of the term as it pertains to the career of a museum or art curator.

To curate is “to select, organize, and present (online content, merchandise, information, etc.), typically using professional or expert knowledge”.

Put simply, to curate is to look after and preserve. This is exactly what I want to do with my life. I want to choose and select pieces of my life to keep and preserve and to simultaneously extract parts of my life that I don’t want anymore.

This selection and preservation process, this curation, is an important part of how I practically simplify and unbusy my life.

There are two specific areas of your life you could start to curate. Your physical belongings, or as I like to say – your stuff, is a great place to start.  

Our belongings

Curating your belongings doesn’t mean you need to identify as a minimalist. Or even that this is an end goal. I certainly don’t prescribe to a minimalist interior (although home design is not the only aspect of minimalism), I love well-thought-out collections of items. And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to switch to being a kindle reader, so no, a minimalist I am not!

But in order to live a slower, simpler pace of life, I have to make sure I regularly declutter or curate my belongings. If I don’t do this, the upkeep (washing, folding, tidying, cleaning, maintaining) of these things soon becomes the sum total of my life. I wind up being held hostage by my things, unable to find time for anything else.

Where should I start?

You can start any place, but where ever you choose, think small. After a couple of months of hard writing work and a holiday, I started a fresh curate today on my daughter’s bookshelf. I was easily able to find a half-dozen books that could be donated. Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist started in his glove box. Maybe you can’t see the surface of your entrance way table? Pick one small surface or drawer. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, head out all gung-ho into your garage or even your wardrobe and start there. Be patient, the garage’s time will come.

For some more practical advice on the where what and how of decluttering you can head here and here.

So start small, clear one space, and go back again tomorrow.

And if you want to reach further than you stuff you could also try tackling a curation of your relationships.

Relationships

Curating your relationships isn’t necessarily as harsh as it sounds (although a Facebook cull once in awhile is a great digital declutter). What I mean by curating your relationships is this:

Become intentional about who you choose to spend your time with.

If your calendar is overflowing with social engagements and commitments that you’ve mindlessly agreed too then you are probably feeling overwhelmed and overscheduled.

Living a slower pace of life is all about being intentional, even with our friendships.

Author Tim Ferriss believes that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So it might be helpful to sit down and make that list and then compare it to the person you want to be. Does it match up?

Because if we aren’t spending time with the people that matter in our lives, those who believe in us, then we will likely be attracting extraneous clutter in the form of obligation. You know what I mean right? “I should really attend my high school friends daughters 1st birthday party”, or “my cousin’s best friend is having a fundraiser, I should show my support”.

Where should I start?

You could start by just noticing your inner dialogue when you get an invite. If your initial response is from a place of obligation then perhaps this is something you don’t need to attend. Our time is precious, spend it wisely.

If you have a friend or family member who doesn’t believe in you, or who brings a sense of chaos and calamity (known elsewhere as the energy vampires) then it might be time to consider consciously letting go of that relationship.

Listen, I get it. This sounds harsh (many of the valuable lessons in life do). I’ve exhausted myself in the past, trying to be a friend to everyone. My highly sensitive nature doesn’t want to see anyone left out. But I only have 24 hours in any one day. And so do you.

Make a physical list of the relationships you want to nurture and accept coffee dates, meetings, and events based on this.

This is YOUR life. Despite what anyone else tells you, you get to live it how you want to. Sometimes it won’t feel like you are, especially when life gets really tough. And yes, sometimes you’ll be swept up in circumstances out of your control. But there’s always a way out and back to your true self. It’s just that getting there is up to you.

I love my journey to a simpler slower life. I’m absolutely convinced that I’ll never get to the destination, but it turns out the journey is the most worthwhile experience I’ve ever had.

If you want to join me on this journey, this slow revolution, I’d love to share it with you. You can follow the Facebook page and sign up for weekly inspiration direct to your inbox.

*All images courtesy of  Annie Spratt