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Have you made your New Year’s resolutions? If not, don’t fret. 91% of people who make NY resolutions don’t achieve them. Taking a more considered and cautious approach to changing your life for the better will work though.

When we opt for slow and steady progress instead of rash decisions (after a glass or two of prosecco), we can achieve things we never dreamed of.

Most of us know that New Year’s resolutions don’t work, but despite this, we keep going back. Again and again. Why? Because there’s a drive in all of us to better ourselves. We dream of a future self, a better version of who we currently are. Tidier, richer, politer, smarter or fitter. Whatever it is that constitutes ‘better’ in our minds, we are pulled towards it every day.

And while there’s nothing wrong with this drive to be ‘better’, the way most of us go about – trigger-happy resolutions – is born to fail. But when we take an intentional, curative approach – a slow and steady approach – to the things we want to change, we will be more likely to uncover our ‘better’ selves.

(Note: By ‘better’ I don’t mean we won’t have hard times, times of grief, loneliness and despair. I mean that we don’t necessarily have to go to rock bottom when things get rough. One rung of the ladder at a time).

Forming a habit, slow and steady

I’d hated running in high school, ditching school on cross country days. I was slow and not at all athletically inclined. Looking back, it was an underlying need for perfection. All or nothing. I knew I wouldn’t come first so what was the point. So perhaps it was better to not even try.

But when I was in my early twenties I needed change. My husband and I had just moved to a new city, and I was struggling feeling ‘settled’, I subconsciously knew I needed to move my body more.

So I started. One lamp post at a time. I would set out from home, and head up our long street. I walked the first stretch between lamp posts then jogged the next. This went on for a couple of weeks. I hated the first time. And the second wasn’t much better. But by the third walk/jog I could feel something shift inside of me. I felt ‘better’. I felt a weird, illogical joyfulness. So I kept going. I was consistent with my small steps.

Within a few weeks I wasn’t measuring my running by lamp posts. I’d upgraded to minutes. It wasn’t long before I could run a 20 minute stretch without stopping. And it wasn’t much longer before I was hooked.

Fast forward 14 or so years and running is a life long (I hope) companion. I even have a few ultramarathons under my belt. From hating cross country to getting excited about running 60km. I never would have guessed. Slow and steady doesn’t always mean I win, but it has certainly changed my life for the better.

And here’s the thing. My foray into running wasn’t born on a bright sunny New Year’s Day. It was born out of a need to change my life for the better. A deep, almost indescribable, need to forge a path to joy and connection.

Slow and steady has been life changing

Running is my meditation. It’s become a sacred space where I can go within myself, and if i’m lucky I find the ‘me’ that’s hidden under all the surface layers. It’s the place I go to curate – to sift through my thoughts, to check in and see what needs maintenance.

It’s also a place where I can tap into my creativity. The ‘zone’ I get into when running is very similar to the ‘zone’ I get into when writing – or doing any other creative endeavour. There’s a rhythm to it. A pulse. A hum.

And it’s a place where I connect. With myself, with nature and with God.

I’m so glad I pushed through and made this lifelong habit/friend. I am a better person for it.

But let’s cut to the chase. You haven’t missed the boat. You don’t need New Years resolutions to change your life. Change can happen anytime. And it should. With loads of grace and love we can slowly edge towards better lives every single day.

This year, instead of setting New Year’s resolutions perhaps try and set some intentions that are rooted in an iterative, curative process. One that is bathed in grace and love. And one that is slow and steady in it’s approach.

2019 – in a phrase

I’ve done the popular ‘word setting’ the last couple of years. 2018 was focus. But leading up to the end of the year I couldn’t settle on just one word. A general phrase fits better with me right now.

Let it go.

It’s funny because a friend just wrote a beautiful, seemingly counterintuitive post on keeping bad habits. And I loved every word of it.

But this year, in my fortieth year on this wondrous earth, I think i’m finally ready to let go of some of the bad habits, and negative mindsets that have been holding me back.

Things I hope to let go of in 2019:

1. Some negativity (I am realising I can’t get rid of it all)
2. Unnecessary cuss words (occasionally they are completely necessary!)
3. A tumultuous relationship with alcohol (perhaps more on that later)
4. Physical clutter (it soothes my soul to have only the bare essentials around me)
5. As many things as possible that don’t align with my purpose here on this green sparkly earth!

Perhaps you would like to let go of a few things in 2019?

And if like me, physical clutter is one of those things, I can highly recommend Joshua Becker’s Uncluttered Course. I participated in it late last year, along with thousands of others. It came in very handy as we prepped to leave our house for holiday makers again this summer. Seriously I couldn’t dream of being able to do what we do (make $8,000 renting our home out for 4 weeks!) without living minimally.

Uncluttered has just opened again for 2019! You can register or find out more about it here.

P.S. I’ve been feeling ‘out of sorts’ lately. Totally the opposite of having all my ducks in a row. If you are feeling this too, I want you to know you aren’t alone. I reckon there’s something in the air :p

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A L L E F . V I N I C I U S Δ