I’ve spent the last few years decluttering and realizing that having less reduces my workload and more importantly, my anxiety. And as a natural part of this journey to minimalism, my shopping trips have decreased.
I’ve stopped using shopping as a crutch. Stopped using it to fill spaces in my day, fill spaces in my wardrobe, and spaces in my house. Shopping has actually become something I actively avoid and generally dislike.
This journey to simplifying and minimizing my physical world has made me realize that shopping is never the answer. Despite the times, we convince ourselves it is.
And when we really stop and think about it (and be brutally honest with ourselves) we probably don’t need to buy more stuff.
But now, after several years on this journey, which is really a journey of self-discovery, I’m also happy to add a disclaimer to my statement.
Sometimes we do need to go shopping. Running shoes don’t last forever, and I don’t know about you but my kids are growing out of their clothes at a ridiculous pace!
Here’s the difference – or challenge – if you are ready.
You should always try to be intentional with any purchases you make. Afterall, buying stuff without careful consideration or on autopilot is probably why you are here. Why you are considering a more minimalist approach.
When shopping isn’t the solution
Buying something ‘on trend’
Buying something because it’s the new trend and your friend just got it, is not the solution to the problem you have of comparing yourself. Trying to keep up with the Jones’s will usually wind up in tears. Trust me, I speak from experience.
When you buy the ‘on trend’ cinnamon-colored velvet cushion, you don’t get relief from comparison or an injection of self-worth. You get a cinnamon-colored velvet cushion. Something that may, or may not be in fashion next season.
Try instead: Ditch the comparison by taking Pinterest and Instagram break (or whatever social media space that feeds into comparison). Invest in other things that boost your self-esteem instead. Try going to a local boot camp. Go to the hairdresser. Spend time with someone you know who loves you as you are.
Buying something to get the adrenaline rush
Buying something to get the rush of something new, is unlikely to be the solution to your curiosity and desire for new experiences. Again, I am guilty of buying for the rush! But if I’m really honest with myself, when I get home with my new items of clothing, the rush is gone.
The adrenaline rush doesn’t last as long as the clothes do. Eventually, they just become extra things in my closet. Items that will likely make their way to goodwill faster than items brought more mindfully.
Try instead: Do something that fills your need for adventure. Go on a bushwalk. Travel to a new city. Seek adventures to quell your curiosity instead of things.
Buying something to fill a space
Buying things to fill empty spaces is not the solution to having a perfect home. When we renovated and found ourselves with huge areas of blank wall the temptation was to buy prints and frame photos to hang up. While I’ve hung some things up, most of the space is still blank. And I figured out that I like it. I love the white space, it’s soothing and calming.
Try instead: Before you purchase items to decorate shelves or walls, try experimenting with space. Leave the wall or shelf empty for a while and see how it makes you feel.
So that’s three examples of situations where stuff isn’t the answer to your perceived problem.
But what about the times when more stuff is the answer? Times when stuff is essential and brings connection and joy.
When is shopping okay?
When you need to replace worn-out items
Stuff wears out, and we have to buy new stuff. It’s just the way life goes. Particularly these days when the economy is built on items that have a short lifespan. So to replace these items we need to shop. Pretty simple. Do your well-worn jeans have holes in the wrong places? You replace them. But how you replace them is key. Try and choose quality items so that the cycle of life (and the consumer cycle) is longer. This might require patience to save up an extra $50 to purchase better quality jeans.
When an item would help bring connection
I’m all about experiences over things. But sometimes, particular items, invoke experiences that make the purchase of them incredibly valuable. You may not think a new dining room table is an experience. It’s a table. An item. But if you are anything like me, a dining room table is never just a dining room table. It’s an item that brings people together. A space to connect.
There are actually loads of items that help bring us to connect more with family and friends. Board games, outdoor sports equipment, and I think a coffee machine even fits into this category. Ok, it’s a stretch but I’m gonna make that connection.
The key thing about items that help bring us together is that we are purchasing them for this purpose. We are clear about the value that they will add. Intentionally choosing to purchase something that encourages connection.
When something would bring you joy
So what about the items you buy that simply make you happy? I recently made a very indulgent purchase. I brought a scented candle, something I’ve never brought before. But candles (particularly beautifully scented ones) have become special to me. A sort of self-care ritual. I also knew that I was purchasing something that would bring me joy, not just fleeting happiness.
This isn’t just about purchasing items either. For example, I chose to bring two pieces of furniture from my Nana’s estate into our home because I loved them. They brought me joy and continue to, every time I see them. And knowing they were made by my Grandad who I never met makes them even more special.
So no, you probably don’t need to buy most of the stuff. It’s very rarely the answer to any of our problems.
But sometimes it is. Sometimes the things we choose to bring into our lives can bring us great joy and help connect us to our fellow human beings. And that’s okay.
My hope is that by reading this you will be gently nudged to think through the things you bring into your home, and your life. Take some time to understand why you’ve collected, kept, and purchased items.
And then make a choice. Choose to be a little more intentional about any future purchases you make.
Ditch comparison. Stop using shopping as an experience. Experiment with white space before filling it with more stuff.
Choose quality, and keep an open mind about things that will bring you joy and connection.
And above all, be kind to yourself. The road to simplifying our lives isn’t easy. But the journey and the destination can be incredibly rewarding when we take it one day at a time.
If you are looking for help to do in-depth decluttering, the Uncluttered course has just opened for enrolment for the Spring 2022 intake.
Uncluttered is a 12-week long course created by Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist, and over 30,000 people have participated in the course over the last 3 years.
The course is broken up into four modules;
Module 1: Know your why’s
Module 2: Change your home
Module 3: Develop new habits
Module 4: Experiment with less
Each module contains a video or interview with a leader in the minimalist movement and a guide to the week’s challenge. It also includes 3 live webinars, where you can ask Joshua some of your more tricky questions.
And possibly the best part – you get access to a private Facebook group of other Uncluttered participants. Here you can get pretty constant access to motivation, tips, and inspiration from current and past participants.
If you are considering taking the course this year, I’m very pleased to be able to offer you a friends and family discount of a huge 25%! (just enter FF25 at the checkout).
If you want to find out more about Uncluttered before signing up visit the webpage. You can also email me at simpleslowlovely@gmail.com, or PM me on Facebook or Instagram.
P.S This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase I receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you, which goes towards funding Simple Slow & Lovely. Thank you so much for your support!
