Why you might hate Christmas (and how to love it again)

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Christmas is coming. Just in case you didn’t know. And if you’ve grown to hate Christmas, you aren’t alone. Most people are in one of two camps regarding the upcoming festive season.

Camp 1. You are excited, counting down the days, and your decorations are already up. 

Camp 2. You quietly swear under your breath everytime someone ‘helpfully’ reminds you how many days there are to go. And you are secretly hoping Santa and his elves cancel Christmas.

I’ve been in camp 2 for most of my adult life. It’s not that I don’t eventually enjoy the day or holiday time around it, it’s just that the lead up to it is often stressful and all-consuming. As a highly sensitive introvert, all the Christmas shopping, Christmas functions, excitable children and lack of routine, have me approaching the season with dread, rather than joy.

And it’s not just my personality that has me on the down-low about Christmas. There are many other reasons why Christmas is not the festive time it could be.

Here are five common reasons people (including me) hate Christmas. Maybe you’ll recognize some of them?

Number 1: You are a type-A, perfectionist

If you are a recovering perfectionist like me, then an ‘event’ like Christmas is the perfect breeding ground for stress, discontent, and unhappiness.

If you are hell-bent on creating the perfect Pinterest Christmas you might wind up disappointed when the dog eats the tray of gingerbread men, or the tree you picked out dies an early death. And worse than that, you might miss out on precious moments with family in your striving for perfection (guilty as charged).

Turn your hate into love by letting go of your perfect standards this year. You may want to adopt the phrase I have for this season. “Que sera, sera”. Whatever will be, will be (sing along with me now!). Most of the things we think are worth worrying about simply aren’t. This year I’m aiming to do the least amount of planning as possible. I may make gingerbread men, and I may not. But I will definitely aim for more moments being present with my kids.

Number 2: You are focused on spending money and buying things

I have strong memories of Christmas mornings when I was growing up. We would each get a small stocking put at the end of our bed after we’d fallen asleep. I loved waking up and fossicking through the bits in my stocking in the early hours (best present ever was a walkman and Kylie Minogue’s first tape!). So let me say this, I’m not against gift giving. I love giving and I don’t mind receiving either.

But gift giving (and receiving) at Christmas time is not what it used to be. Our consumption focused society means we are bombarded with marketing from early October. Quantity and convenience are valued over quality and thoughtfully chosen items.   

Turn your hate into love by injecting some intention back into your gift giving this year. Consider giving experiences over things and stick to a planned budget. One of my friends and her family are doing a ‘second-hand only’ gift exchange this year (mother nature 1, corporate America 0). Shake things up and try something different.

Read: A Grinch Agreement: What It is & Why You Need a Few This Christmas

Number 3: You are over-committed and over-scheduled

The lead up to Christmas can be incredibly busy and chaotic. If we aren’t careful we end up spending our days running to and from Christmas functions and wind up feeling too exhausted to enjoy the holiday when it arrives (this is always the main reason I hate Christmas!).

There’s often a sense of urgency in the air in the lead up to Christmas. As workplaces close for a week or two, projects and deadlines loom. And everyone is trying to ‘catch-up’ with everyone. The frenetic pace almost has an apocalyptic feel to it.

Turn your hate into love by saying ‘no’ more often and taking ‘should’ out of your vocabulary. Between my husband and I, we have been invited to five separate work Christmas parties. And this is just for two jobs! We’ve said yes to two of them. Purposefully schedule in downtime. Days when you don’t have to go anywhere or do anything.

Number Four: You discard good habits and routines and over-indulge

The Christmas period is often synonymous with ‘letting go’. People let go of healthy eating, good exercise habits, sleeping enough, and loads of other routines or rhythms that have served them well all year. And while it’s great to have a break and ease up a bit, it’s can be a slippery slope to letting go entirely if we aren’t careful.

Turn your hate into love by making intentional choices before the season hits about what you’ll take a break from. Then set yourself a time-limit to get back on track. Or maybe if you know how hard it is to get back on track you might consider just keeping all your healthy habits this year.

Read: Eating mindfully: A ‘no-diet’ approach to eating this holiday season

Number Five: You are lonely or grieving the loss of someone

I’m very grateful for my family and friends. I’ve never been alone at Christmas time. (For this, I consider myself very wealthy.) But many, many people are alone. Christmas is also a time when we are reminded of the people we love who’ve left this earth. And those we’ve left who’ve just left.

The gaping holes that people leave behind when they are gone become chasms at times like this. Sometimes it’s actually nice to get lost in that chasm for a bit. To rest in the hole they left. But for many people, the loss and grief is too much and is the reason they despise Christmas so much.

Turn the hate into love by leaning into the grief and then consciously climbing back out to life. If you are facing a Christmas alone, consider reaching out to someone. Or maybe consider volunteering at your local soup kitchen for the day. Reach out and make a connection with someone. There’s a good chance this will be an immense source of joy for both of you.

I don’t want to hate Christmas anymore. Letting go, loosening up, and being present is how I’m choosing to be this Christmas. It’s slower, and simpler than any Christmas before. But I think it might just be more joy-filled than ever before too.

If you are interested in learning more about how to create a slower, simpler Christmas you might want to sign up to this very popular 5-day email series, aptly titled, ‘Calm the Christmas Crazy’. 

 

1 Comment

  1. Laurie S. November 30, 2018 at 8:24 pm

    Very good points and ideas!
    I have a #6: Working in retail. The Christmas freight starts arriving in late summer, the same Christmas songs (over and over for 8 hours) starting before Thanksgiving, and the push and shove of people/patrons loving on friends they see, but grouchy towards the people working (who have very little control over what happens at the business), and TRAFFIC
    :O)
    Generally, most people aren’t too bad and we try to not let anyone ruin our day. When you get home, though, it’s time to put your feet up for a minute!

    Hope your Christmas is blessed!