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We are only four. A small family really. And yet I often feel as though I’m managing the schedules of a small army instead. It’s busy, and often overwhelming. And so I have become a hunter. Fervently hunting down small pockets of slow in amongst the trenches of busy family life.

I seek slow because this is where I most often find magical moments. It’s where I create the most memories, and where I feel the most relaxed and free. And it’s what my kids need. 

My two kids thrive with swaths of unscheduled time. Time to get bored. Time to explore. They need slow as much as I do. 

So I hunt slow. It’s good for me. And it’s good for my family.

Four ways I unapologetically slow down family life

Under schedule

I don’t care to sign us up for much. I say no to more than one extracurricular activity per child, per school term. Focussing on one activity gives them an opportunity to practice diligence with one skill, and means I don’t spend all my time taxi driving (can I hear an amen to that!).

I say no to more than one or two pre-planned activities per weekend. We don’t need to fill our downtime with things that make us more exhausted and needing a day to recover from our weekend. So no to two birthday parties, a brunch date, church and a trip to the zoo. 

Under-scheduling our lives allows for magical, spontaneous moments that would never arise when each hour of the day is accounted for. 

READ: Why you should add ‘nothing’ into your schedule

Prioritize yourself 

I unapologetically make self-care a priority. If I want to live a slower pace of life, be a calmer mom, then I have to ensure that I take good care of myself. 

If you don’t already prioritize yourself it’s time to do it. 

When I’m unable to do my morning routine, I usually wind up feeling stressed and frantic by the end of the day.

Being able to give to myself first, by having coffee on the deck while reading, followed by running my dog, means I’m more likely to go slower and be more intentional for the remainder of the day. 

I rely so heavily on some sort of self-care each day that I sometimes feel unable to think clearly until I’ve had space for myself. 

And I do this unapologetically, knowing it’s the most unselfish thing I can do. I am a nicer person, a better friend, and a kinder mum and wife when I’ve made myself a priority.

READ: Five unconventional ways to get more time for yourself

Ditch technology more often

I have found that technology, my phone, and laptop, feed an illusion that I’m busy. If I’m not careful I can easily become a slave to my notifications, emails or even just the ease of having the ‘world’ at my fingertips. 

Instead of being productive I can easily fall into the trap of ‘busy-work’ that’s fed by other people’s demands and schedules. 

To combat this I have NO notifications on my phone. I look at my phone on my own terms. I simply refuse to be at the mercy of someone else’s agenda. If it’s important, they call or visit me. Most things don’t require an immediate response.

READ: Three top signs you need a digital declutter (and how to do one).

Spend time in nature

How many times have you gone to the beach or on a walk in the woods and lost track of time, only to be amazed at the hours that have passed? But at the same time, you’ve felt as though time has expanded in front of you, almost limitless. Nature has a wonderful way of changing our perception of time.

When we are constantly indoors, at the mercy of phones and other modern devices, we can easily fill our time with chores and are easily distracted. Living like this can be akin to living in ‘flight or fight’ mode.

In contrast, when we spend time outdoors and allow ourselves to be led by nature, it gives our brains a chance to recover. Time in nature boosts creativity and decreases stress and negative emotions.

If you schedule anything for this week, let it be time outdoors as a family.

Read: The power of spending time in nature as a family

If you are feeling frantic and stressed by the pressures of modern family life, take some time to consider what might help you slow things down. Perhaps it’s one of these things, or something different.

Become a hunter, fervently seeking slow pockets of time. Rebel against busy, and ban the word ‘hurry’. 

Because there is magic hidden in the margins. Memories to be made in the pauses. And freedom to be found in a slower pace.

Unschedule and say no to busy family life. 

They need it. And so do you.