Can I let you off the hook? You don’t have to make New Year’s resolutions. Nor do you have to ‘celebrate’ the new year, or ‘see it in’ in any certain way. You can approach a New Year with ease and mindfulness.
You can be gentle with yourself.
Previous years I’ve made resolutions, or goals in a rush, often with a glass of pinot in one hand. Never well thought out. If I had a dollar for every unattainable resolution I’ve made…
But there’s an easier, gentler approach to creating a good year for yourself.
Choosing a guiding word or phrase
For the last few years I’ve chosen a word or phrase to help guide me through the year. A mantra really. Something that reminds me of my intentions for my life in this season.
Last year my phrase was ‘let it go’ and the one before that was ‘focus’. I’ve enjoyed reflecting at the end of each year to see how these mantras have carried me.
2020: Healing & Ease
This year I’ve chosen two words to represent how I want to be (ease), and what I want to do (healing).
For me, the word ‘ease’ doesn’t mean doing things easier. It’s more a feeling of taking things slower and moving mindfully through my days. It’s a kinder and gentler way of being. And it’s completely anti-hustle.
The word ‘healing’ is something I want to continue doing this year. It’s born out of a lifelong struggle with anxiety and it’s time to do some work around the roots. After experiencing a serious acute anxiety attack in December, needing immediate medical attention, I am ready to do some serious work on my post-traumatic stress symptoms.
Special note: I’m not expecting miraculous healing. I am fully open to the possibility that healing as a concept may change for me over this year. Sometimes healing from trauma is loaded with unrealistic expectations.
This idea of setting a word for the year has become popular, and if you haven’t done it yet (or even if you have), you might be thinking it’s a bit fanciful and vague.
And it can be if we don’t actively, and mindfully do things to coax these words to manifest.
How to make sure your chosen word guides your year
The way I do this is by choosing a few habits to work on that are related to each of my words. I choose to focus on habits rather than goals because it feels like a gentler approach.
Step 1: Brainstorm/release
Once you are clear on what your words or phrase is for the year, sit down with a blank piece of paper and brainstorm some things you’d like to work on this year. Write down anything that comes to mind, as many things as you want. You’ll refine that list in the next step.
For example, when I brainstormed my habit changes for the year I came up with 14 different things! My list was pretty random, and included taking up a new creative hobby, working on a nighttime routine, and flossing!
But I knew that attempting to change 14 things was completely unrealistic.
Step 2: Refine
Look at all the possibilities in front of you. Cross out the ones that you know are unattainable. Highlight those that seem to support the theme of your words or phrase for the year. Prioritize those that you know will give you quick wins.
Choose from what’s left. There’s no right number to go with. Twelve, one for each month, might be just right. This year I’m opting to work on 6, focussing fully on one at a time for 2 months. Or you might choose 4, one for each season.
Step 3: Define
Take your chosen habit topics and flesh them out a little. Rather than make concrete goals with each (although this is fine too), I like to ask myself how I want to feel at the end of each period of focus.
I choose blank paper and coloured pencils to draw out my words/phrase and complementing habits. The act of putting colour to paper is a slow and mindful one that helps these ideas sink a little deeper into my body and soul.
Here are six habits I’m choosing to work with this year
- Writing. I have specific work goals that include writing but this year I also want to focus on more creative writing that is only for me. I long to get into the flow where writing begins to feel like playing the piano. A rhythmic outpouring.
- Yoga. I have dabbled on and off with yoga for many years. Mostly off. I would love to make it a more consistent part of my life. I don’t mean daily practice. But a frequency that allows me to grow in my practice and begin to see sustainable benefits. (I recommend Yoga with Adriene if you are starting out).
- Reading. I am a multipotentialite and could read for hours on almost any topic. I’m aiming to read 18 books this year, approximately half non-fiction and half fiction. I’m starting with a re-read of Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. I am still compiling my list and will post it on Instagram once it’s complete.
- Connection. As a very independent introvert, I am aware that I often forgo needed connection with my immediate family. I am wanting to intentionally focus on connection in our home this year.
- Creative hobby. Although writing is my main outlet for creation, I’m itching to start something new this year. I have no idea what it might be, I’m open to suggestions! I want it to be something mindful that I can lose myself in. And something I don’t really have to think too hard about. Ease.
- My work online is a fairly substantial part of my life. Something that brings me immense joy and satisfaction. My last focus or habit of the year is to create better systems around my work. I need a bit more ease (and perhaps a VA!) so that I can really focus on what’s important in my wee business.
There it is. A window into my hopes and dreams for 2020.
I hope that this process, this slower more mindful approach, might help you to begin to think and articulate your hopes and dreams.
As always you are more than welcome to share your word for the year or your goals/habits with me. I’d be honored to hear from you.
Until next week
Emma
