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It’s my birthday and it’s a big one. The big four-oh! I’m surprisingly delighted and excited about this milestone.

I remember feeling too old at 21, and 30, and wanting to not be those ages. But now, at 40, I’m ready. I’m very excited about the next decade of my life. I believe it will be the best yet.

I decided to make an un-bucket list. Rather than making a list of all the things I want to do, I want to take stock of what I’ve done already.

Today I’m choosing to ignore the fact that my book isn’t finished, let alone published. And I’m not berating myself for not having completed another ultra-marathon. Today I’m choosing to remind myself of all the awesome (and not so awesome) things I’ve done. Even the not so awesome things are worth reminding myself of because they have made me who I am.

And gosh darn it, I’m proud of who I am! So, in no particular order, here we go…

1. Got a masters degree
2. Completed a half ironman
3. Ran 2 ultra-marathons
4. Made 2 babies
5. Made a unicorn head out of paper mache
6. Moved 22 times
7. Got married
8. Contributed to the noise of the Internet
9. Learnt to love gardening
10. Woke up (in a profound spiritual way)
11. Decluttered the crap out of my life
12. Met the cast of the Lord of the Rings
13. Travelled to south, central and north America
14. Fell in love with yoga
15. ‘Came out’ as a highly sensitive introvert
16. Got baptized
17. Survived an eating disorder
18. Buried one of my best friends
19. Dropped a phone down the crack between the floor and elevator (6 floors up)
20. Got tattooed (x4)
21. Started my life’s work
22. Hugged a (few) trees
23. Ate crepes on a Paris sidewalk
24. Met my birth mother and grandmother
25. Decided twitter wasn’t for me
26. Got my nose pierced
27. Decided I loved myself, regardless of the bits I don’t like and want to change
28. Ran away from home
29. Drank too much Jim beam
30. Got my heart broken
31. Quit my dream job
32. Got a Mohawk
33. Began to learn how to let go of perfection and make way for grace
34. Binge watched resident evil while waiting for baby no 1
35. Rediscovered my love of writing
36. Learnt how to breathe my way through a panic attack
37. Learnt to love walking… even when all I wanted to do was run
38. Got myself and my daughter a pet rat each
39. Lived through a traumatic childhood
40. Decided I didn’t care what other people thought of me

Sure you could write yourself a bucket list of things you want to do or accomplish in life. But what about making yourself an un-bucket list. A list of everything you’ve already done. A stock-take of a beautiful, wild, and precious life.

I want to invite you to make your own list. And if you want you can share it below!

Image credit – Claire Dewson Photography